I’ll do it.

What they died for • season 6 • episode 16

Javier, 19 — Maracaibo (Venezuela)

Lost was, is, and will continue to be my life. It may sound like a cliché, but I mean it literally. It all started when I was just 13 years old, and six years later, there isn’t a single friend who doesn’t make the connection of Javier = Lost. There isn’t a single situation I can’t reflect on Lost. There isn’t a single Lost character I don’t feel identified with.
Choosing a single moment pains me. Say, I’m now a medical student, all because of “Do No Harm” — and Jack, my single hero. Or say, crying on the floor, punching it with all of my might, after I saw three of my best friends die on a submarine (saddest day of my life, by the way). But when it comes to picking one, I have to go with Jack taking on Jacob’s job.
Why this moment? Because right there, even before the church scene, is when Jack finally let go. You can see it on his face, hear it in his words. When Jack steps up and says “I’ll do it“, he finally comes to accept everything that has happened in his life. And at the same time he did it, I let go too.
Ever since around the time I started watching Lost, my life had been filled with suffering, and the “show” (I hate that word for it) was the only thing keeping me up. I had cried, yelled, even inflicted harm on myself. But at that right moment, as Jack let go, I was able to do it too. It was exactly the same thing he had told John before — that they could let go at the same time.
Ever since that day, I have never been a miserable person. Of course, I have cried, I have yelled again, but I’m not that miserable dude anymore. Lost fixed me. Jack and all of the others were able to do something I had tried and tried for a lot of years.
Every character death made me feel something breaking in myself. Then comes the final episode, and everything changes: everytime one of them awakes in the Flashsideways, I felt the exact opposite: I felt pieces of myself coming together. I literally felt myself being fixed.
There’s one thing I’ll never let go, and it’s Lost. I couldn’t be more grateful for it. Lost changed my life, made me a better man, and more importantly, Lost fixed me. Live together, die alone.